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  “Oh, no.”

  “Yeah, he climbed down to prove to Geoff he wasn’t fooled. I think he was about to jump on one of the elephant seals when it reared up really fast and charged him.”

  “No way!”

  “It was crazy. Matsuo backed up so fast he fell into the wet sand. One of the tour guides saw us and started shouting at him to get out of there. By the time he climbed back up these rocks he was covered in mud.”

  “Mudd?”

  “Yeah, he hasn’t been able to live that name down.”

  Julia laughed. “So forget about wanting to pet them.”

  “But here, I can take a picture of you with them in the background,” Wynn offered.

  “Ok,” she crouched down and held out her hand midair, posing.

  Wynn lowered the camera. “What are you doing?”

  “Pretending to pet the elephant seals, why does it not look like it?”

  He stared at her then burst out laughing. “Oh, I get it. Here let me get the angle right.” He bent slightly and took the picture. Holding out the camera he showed her the image. Julia laughed and nodded. He had managed to line up one of the bigger elephant seals under her hand to make it look like she was actually touching it.

  “So what else is on the list?” Wynn asked. Julia pulled the deeply creased handout back out and unfolded it.

  “Um, looks like that about covers it. Thanks so much for helping me out, Wynn.”

  “No problem.”

  It was close to noon, the sun shining bright and hot above. They’d stayed pretty much just around the edge of the island near the beach, and Julia wondered if she’d be imposing on his time if they explored the rest of the island a little more. Even though the only reason they’d come was for the assignment, it seemed kind of a shame to not make the most of the trip.

  Wynn solved her dilemma by saying, “Do you feel like having some ice cream? There’s a place here that sells this pineapple ice cream that’s really good.”

  “Yes! But it’s my treat.”

  “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.”

  “No, it’s on me,” Julia insisted.

  “No, I got it.”

  “You have to let me pay for yours, as a thank you for helping me out today.”

  Wynn finally laughed and said, “You sound like my mom.”

  “You sound like my mom,” Julia countered and smiled. The images of their parents squabbling over who had the privilege of paying for the bill at the end of a meal flashed through her mind. It was the Asian way of being polite and showing respect to the other person.

  At that, Wynn said, “That’s a scary thought. Ok, you can pay. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Julia laughed.

  They walked back towards where they had docked from the ferry, which was the main part of the small town. Rows of small souvenir shops, eateries, and even a local art gallery lined the street. The ice cream parlor was located towards the end of the street.

  The pineapple ice cream was really pretty incredible, sweet and tangy with fresh chunks of the juicy fruit hand mixed into the creamy cold vanilla.

  They stood outside the parlor licking their sweet treat. Julia noticed a row of bicycles with pull carts attached to the back, their brightly colored canopies hanging overhead read “Helm’s Island Sightseeing Co.” Wynn followed the direction of her gaze and said, “Want to take a tour of the island?”

  “I would love that.”

  One of the darkly tanned men lounging near the bicycle stand approached them, and Wynn paid him for his services. Climbing into the plush cart, Julia pulled her digital camera back out for photos, while holding her dripping ice cream cone in her other hand. The first couple of minutes she snapped pictures of everything, the cerulean blue of the ocean, the sun-golden stone homes clinging to the equally sun drenched rocky hillside like barnacles attached to a reef, and the dock full of ferries and sailboats.

  Wynn made her laugh with his running commentary of only the blatantly obvious, saying, “That is the ocean, and that’s a bird, and those are boats,” as they rode by.

  “So informative,” she teased him.

  He grinned and quipped, “Not my first time here.”

  Pulling away from the main street and curving up the hill moving inlands, the landscape changed as the ocean disappeared from view and instead a crop of tall sugar canes sprung up cover acres of lush green land.

  “Smile,” Julia cued Wynn as she turned her camera on him. The thin greenish yellow stalks with its long springy green leaves whizzed by behind him. He made a face at the tiny camera lens as she caught him mid-lick of his melting ice cream. She studied the digital image on the camera screen. “Here, let me take another one.”

  Holding up one arm to block his face, Wynn protested, “No paparazzi.”

  “C’mon, I don’t have any pictures of you.”

  “You just took one.”

  “Any decent pictures of you,” she corrected herself.

  “Fine, come here.”

  Leaning in together until their shoulders touched, Wynn snapped a photo of the two of them then handed the camera back to her.

  “Your ice cream’s melting,” he said nonchalantly and crunched at his cone until it disappeared. Julia worked on her ice cream for a while in silent. It was a while before she noticed the sugar cane fields had given way to a small pineapple farm, the spiky heads popping out from the ground covered with green leafy bushes. “So how’s your soul searching been going?” Wynn finally asked her, breaking the silence.

  “I’ve come to realize I have major issues.”

  He laughed. “Name one.”

  “I have a hard time trusting people. And I guess I’ve let that affect the way I view God.”

  “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “I don’t know, it’s scary,” Julia admitted. “I have this fear that if I let go and completely trust God, He’ll do something in my life that’s against my will.”

  He nodded slowly, “Like make you a pastor when what you really want to do is make movies.”

  He understands. But for some reason, that realization only saddened her.

  “How old were you when you first started going to church?” Wynn asked.

  “I think I was five the first time I went to church with Lexi’s family, but it was just off and on in the beginning. I think I was in fourth grade when I started going every week. I got baptized in seventh grade.”

  “What made you want to get baptized back then?”

  They were headed back down the hill, the trees thinning out as the ocean came back to view. Julia thought about Wynn’s question and said, “I just really loved Jesus. I couldn’t believe the God of the universe cared about me.”

  Below the dirt road they were traveling on, several white gleaming buildings with walls of glass situated next to the shore came into view. Without seeing the signs, Julia assumed it was the aquarium and sea animal rehabilitation centers, and soon they looped back around to the street they had started on.

  Climbing out of the carriage, Julia thanked the tour guide who was now chugging a bottle of water still perched on top of the parked bike. They walked in silence back down the main street, looking at the different shops. They passed one of those display shelves that turn around in a circle. It was placed strategically outside the open shop door, and Julia noticed Wynn looking at the small magnet photo frames with names engraved on them.

  “Looking for your name?”

  “Yeah, but they never have it,” he said, as he started to walk away.

  “Well, hold on a second,” Julia called to him. “You didn’t even check.” She reached out and turned the case until it reached the W section. Warren. Wendy. William. Wilson.

  “It’s ok,” Wynn smiled at her disappointed expression.

  While Wynn went to the dock to purchase their return passage back to the mainland, Julia hurried back to the shop.

  “Do you sell anything with personalized na
mes?” she asked the lady behind the counter.

  “You can make a bead bracelet or necklace with these alphabet letters,” she suggested, motioning towards the containers filled with an assortment of beads.

  Julia thought for a moment then said, “I can make that work.”

  They were near the end of the ferry ride when Julia dug out the tissue paper wrapped souvenir from her knapsack and handed it to Wynn.

  “What’s this?”

  “Open it.”

  Unwrapping the tissue paper, Wynn stared at the Helm’s Island photo frame with beads spelling out W.Y.N.N. strung across the top of the frame with a brown bracelet cord between two large pineapples.

  Finally he looked up at her with an unreadable expression.

  “Thanks, Lia,” he said.

  And she smiled.

  * * *

  Chloe had begun emailing Julia regularly, amusing her with little anecdotes about her school friends and the drama of her piano competitions. She enjoyed their conversations and they made her eager to see the rest of the youth group. Other than the trip to the Homeless Shelter that day she interviewed Barb, Julia hadn’t been back to Wynn’s youth group. She had struggled with the decision of returning. She wanted to, but was ashamed about deserting them all throughout winter quarter. But she had finally made up her mind. Come Easter Sunday, Julia would resume attending Leavesly Church after a long hiatus. The youth group was going to be performing the skit she had written months ago.

  That day soon arrived. Upon arrival, two teenagers Julia didn’t recognize stood at the entrance of the church building handing out programs. She guessed they must be new members of the youth group that Wynn had put to work. She couldn’t help wondering how many other changes had occurred while she was gone.

  When the lights in the sanctuary dimmed, Elliott and his Worship Team walked up on stage. The applause that filled the room was mingled with cat calls rising from the audience. Koda gave the crowd a cocky wave and strutted over to the drums in the back center of the stage amidst more hollering. Julia smiled at how Koda had apparently gotten over his initial wariness towards inviting his school friends to church. Once the music started, Julia was surprised and impressed that he had even learned a new drum rhythm.

  Julia sat back in her seat as the cast slowly came on stage to perform the Easter story. The scenes illustrating Christ’s redeeming salvation enfolded before her and she was reminded of how much she had loved God back then. And in direct contrast, she was reminded of how much she had drifted away from Him since, allowing her heart to harden against Him.

  Then a somber thought filled her mind. Even though she had decided to quit, God had not abandoned the ministry. He had been faithful in growing this youth group despite her unfaithfulness.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Back home for Spring Break, Julia resolved to make a change. Her mother was in the middle of remodeling the kitchen, and she figured it was time she did a little reconstruction of her own. Amidst a house full of dust and the sharp shrill of drills and the banging of hammers, Julia took out a sheet of paper and wrote down her goals. After she finished, she sat back and read the first three. “Be more faithful by sticking to your commitments,” “Be a better daughter,” and “Be a better friend to Lexi and Ellie.” She knew she had been avoiding them this past quarter at school, and decided she was going to rectify that.

  Midweek, Lexi called to see if Julia would be interested in going with her to watch Elliott compete in the annual Dragon Boat Race at Crissy Field Beach.

  “Sure,” Julia responded, taking her pencil and marking a check next to her goal.

  “Oh, but Craig’s going to be there. Is that going to be weird?”

  Julia waited for that panic to settle in but it never came. “You know, I think I’m going to be ok.”

  A couple days later she was walking through the grassy park adjacent to the beach. Julia passed clusters of canopy tents, BBQ grills, and the First Aid station, before locating the booth for Elliott’s Dragon Boat team.

  “You made it,” Lexi greeted her as Elliott was pulling on his team shirt.

  “What’s this?” a loud voice boomed from behind her. Julia whirled around as Craig, his arm around a girl Julia had never seen before, and Elliott’s older brothers joined them under the canopy. “Little Ellie’s finally manning up to the big boy’s team, huh?”

  Elliott scoffed at Craig’s teasing, but Julia knew it was a big deal. Everyone took these tournaments seriously. Their team hadn’t changed for a couple years comprising exclusively of ten members who were all older, strong and experienced. They didn’t let just anyone join their crew.

  “Ok, first things first,” Craig continued. “Let’s see those guns.” He reached out and grabbed the left sleeve of Elliott’s forest green team shirt and unceremoniously ripped it off at the hem. He laughed with approval when Elliott gamely flexed the muscles on his arm. But he knocked away Craig’s hand when he tried to reach for the other sleeve.

  Grabbing the cloth himself, Elliott tore off the other sleeve. His shirt now resembled those of his older brothers.

  “Hey, Julia,” Craig said, turning his attention on her. “Thanks for coming out and cheering for us.”

  “And miss out on Ellie’s guns in action? Not a chance,” Julia teased Elliott, swatting him on the arm as he walked by.

  Elliott snorted, “Yeah, I’ll be handing out autographs after the race if anyone is interested.”

  “Hi, I’m Julia,” she said to the girl Craig had brought in with him then promptly forgotten.

  “I’m Valerie,” she smiled gratefully at Julia.

  “So,” Craig said, turning his attention back on Julia. “What’s new since the last time I saw you?”

  She shrugged, “The usual.”

  “Lia’s been taking salsa lessons,” Lexi said from where she and Elliott were unabashedly listening in.

  “Dancing, you? Really,” Craig repeated, clearly piqued. “I think I like the new Julia,” he said with his catlike grin, leaning in.

  She took a step back, “No, Craig, same Julia, just a new hobby.”

  “I love ballroom dancing,” the girl Valerie piped up from her corner.

  As if suddenly realizing she was still there, Craig turned his attention to her and said, “Ballroom dancing is a snore. If you try salsa dancing, maybe I’ll come and watch you.” Valerie giggled at his teasing and quickly snuggled up next to him again.

  Lexi gave her a look, and Julia nodded back. Looping their arms through one another’s, they followed the team down to the beach where a row of boats lay pulled half out of the water.

  Each long canoe was adorned with their team’s flag, and the front of each boat was the caller’s drum. It was also known as the dragon’s heartbeat, which is used to keep the pace so that the team can paddle in unison.

  The first race went under way, and Julia stood next to Lexi at the edge of the beach. The girls cheered for Elliott’s team as the boats headed towards the Golden Gate Bridge. Slowly the group began to disperse, some finding their beach chairs or blankets to sit on, others heading back towards the park ground for better shelter and some food. It would be a couple hours before the boats headed back their way.

  The girls found a spot on the beach to do a little sunbathing while they waited. Tilting her face up towards the sun, Lexi closed her eyes and asked, “So how was Helm’s Island? We never got a chance to talk about it.”

  “It was really fun. Wynn’s really easy to talk to.”

  “Just be careful. I know you didn’t plan to hang out with him alone, but don’t forget he still has a girlfriend.”

  “I wonder what she’s like.”

  “Kate?”

  “Yeah,” Julia said, staring out into the ocean, “If she’s right for him.”

  Lexi sat up and turned to stare at her. “No, Lia, you can’t think that way.”

  “But what if she isn’t? I mean, all I’ve heard about her is how beautiful she is, but Wy
nn’s not shallow. Don’t you think he deserves more than that?”

  “You don’t know that she’s shallow.”

  “Remember when we were talking about Craig and how he wasn’t right for me,” Julia said, trying another tactic. “It was like he didn’t know who I really was, even though we were dating for more than two years. It was still such a superficial relationship. I think Craig was just projecting what he wanted in a girlfriend onto me, like I was a blank canvas. But what he thought he liked about me wasn’t who I really was.”

  “Yeah,” Lexi nodded cautiously.

  “Well, Wynn is the opposite. He gets me.”

  Lexi opened her mouth to protest but Julia quickly jumped back in.

  “Like my journals, I always thought it would be horrifying to have another person read them. I mean, they are as uncensored as it’s going to get. But with Wynn it’s like, OK, because he accepts me for who I am. He can handle the ugly, weak side of me. He just understands me.”

  “Lia, look, I want so badly for you to be happy. And,” Lexi admitted, “I can see how good you and Wynn would be together. But you have to remember that he’s already dating someone else.”

  “I have tried getting over him. But every time we interact it’s just like … more evidence that we belong together.”

  “Lia …”

  “You know if this were the movies, Wynn and I would end up together.”

  “Yeah, but it isn’t. In the fantasy world, the world revolves around the main character. She can step all over other people and behave selfishly and still appear to be the heroine. But this is real life. There are consequences to the decisions you make. It affects you and other people. Every movie ends with the credits rolling, and we’re supposed to believe the main character lives happily ever after. But in real life, you have to live with the aftermath.”

  “But,” she began, thinking of three more reasons why Wynn was perfect for her.

  “No! Please stop trying to justify your feelings. You know he’s taken. And as long as he’s in a relationship with her, he’s hands off to you.”

  “I thought you would understand.”

  “I do.”

  They sat in silence watching the speckles of boat far away in the distance.

  “You know,” Julia murmured under her breath, “It’s not like they’re married.”

  “Doesn’t matter, it’s the principal of it,” Lexi sighed and stood up. “I’m thirsty. Want me to get you something to drink?”